So I've been buying lots of old PC games lately, catching up on all the stuff I missed once my computer at the time became too obsolete. The adventure gaming episode of the Retronauts podcast recommended a game from Legend Entertainment called Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, which sounded pretty cool. I checked on eBay and found that all of the copies available were vastly overpriced. But, I've learned that it's often easier to import titles from the UK, due to the fact that they often got budget rereleases that North American didn't, coupled with the weak (at the moment) pound. I'd done this to get some cheap copies of Grim Fandango and Discworld Noir. So, I switched over to eBay UK, found a copy for 7 pounds shipped (about $10), so I went for it.

According to the item listing, I was expecting this:

Instead I got this:

Huh. Well, that's certainly odd.

I double checked the listing and found this:

That kinda makes sense - I can understand a retailer using a stock photo, even the physical item doesn't have the packaging, but you would expect that it looks SOMETHING like it should. Also, note that they list the same thing twice.

Anyway, upon opening the package, I get this:

As I expected, a CD-R.

There's actually a shiny label on the case that claims it's a "Certificate of Authenticity" and urges you to "Please see value-soft.webs.com for Terms of Use before opening. Well, okay. (I've mirrored it here in case that goes down.

There's a lot of total nonsense here, but some of the best is the following:

That doesn't make sense at all, unless you're a cheapass bootlegger who can't be bothered to purchase an actual CD authoring device, but it runs under the assumption that a normal purchaser wouldn't know otherwise!

This is all kinds of hilarious. Very few publishers put their works into abandonware - it happens, but it's rare. Of course, that doesn't stop people from putting up every single old DOS game for download, but they also aren't trying to trick others into paying money for them. It's made funnier by this, earlier on:

Oh? So at one point you're saying that it's fully legal under copyright, but in another, you're implying it's abandonware and is therefore part of the public domain, where copyright doesn't really apply? Well, then!

So I put the CD in, and I get this screen:

Well, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon is apparently there, along with nine other older games, and a "bonus" of Tyrian 2000. My favorite is the picture that's fan artwork of Valkyrie Profile (from the cover of a hentai doujin, no less), which in turn is actually some kind of old valkyrie-themed Amiga game.

I try actually installing Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, and it doesn't work. Turns out it's the same ripped version found on abandonware sites that removes all of the speech files. Yeah, I'm totally 100% sure that whoever holds the rights to Legend Entertainment's stuff surely approved this!

So, I head back to eBay, immediately leave negative feedback for the seller, file a claim with Paypal to get my money back on the grounds of receiving a bootleg item, and report the seller for advertising fradulent goods. Two days later, I get this e-mail:

Hi,
Please could you give me more information regarding this item. All our items come from www.butterfly-media.co.uk

They are all new and are definitely not pirated. They offer online help and can usually remedy any problems you encounter during loading.

I certainly would have offered a refund and tried to remedy any issues you may have encountered, I assume you intend to return the item to me?

And my reponse:

Uh, yeah, this is pretty clearly a bootlegged item. It's a CD-R in a case supplied with some shoddily printed packaging, containing software that was clearly downloaded off of an abadonware site. Furthermore, it doesn't even work right, because not all of the proper files were supplied. The "certificate of authenticity" points to website that largely spouts bullshit, and Butterfly Media is a well known warez dealer. It's also a huge case of fraudulent advertising. It's one thing to put up a stock photo and say "actual item may look different", it's another to get a completely different item.

Anyway, it's completely the seller's responsibility to be aware of what they're selling, and under no circumstance should be tolerated. I'm certainly not bothering to waste my time taking this piece of junk back to the post office, because at this point it's only useful as an empty case.

I found out about Butterfly Media from this post at the SCUMMVM forums, where apparently the eBay seller doesn't even actually see the physical item, they just pass it on to these guys, who then ship it over.

Going back, the best part of the listing is this:

So, burning CDs for charity now? I guess you're going to tell me that drug dealers are now giving 5% of their profits to feed starving children, and that makes it okay?

I'm not surprised by the fact that there's pirated goods on eBay, especially when it comes to video games. It's nearly impossible to buy legit GBA carts or video game music CDs unless you know the right sellers. But what does bother/amuse me is how they go to great lengths to make it seem like they're legit, when they clearly aren't. And I expect this kind of stuff from like, say, Chinatown, where any buyer pretty much knows that they're dealing with bootlegged stuff, but on the internet? That just isn't cool.