But I Sure Do Miss The Nineties (by Pitchfork)





A VERY LONG PROLOGUE
1991. The Super Famicon/SNES drops, ushering in what many gaming enthusiasts and nerds consider the high-water mark of console video games: the 16-bit era. The hardware was powerful enough to enable bigger, better-looking and more complex games than what the NES has previously allowed, but still came with enough limitations that developers had to be clever in designing their games. It's for this reason that a fairly wide margin of JRPG enthusiasts consider the 16-bit years the Golden Age of Squaresoft, if not the best time for the console RPG genre as a whole.

The early 90's were also the most divisive in gaming. Enter the SNES/Genesis console wars. My experience was that unless you were one of those rich little snots whose parents bought you both systems, you picked a side, stuck with it, and spent entire lunch periods shouting at your friends across the table about why you were right and they were wrong. (It was some great practice my generation got for today's political climate.) Enticed by Sonic the Hedgehog, Streets of Rage and Shining Force early on, I cast my lot with the Genesis camp. I didn't play Final Fantasy IV until after I'd already played through most of VI, and as a result, playing IV felt like a step backwards to me.

This time was different. The only games I've been playing lately aside from 2-D fighters have been the 8-bit Final Fantasy games. After a month or two of playing virtually nothing but RPG's that could only display up to 25 colors and play only four different bleeping sounds at once, I was undeniably impressed when I started the game and watched those 16-bit airships fly over a height-distorted world map as the opening theme “The Red Wings” rose to a crescendo. It's not hard at all to see why Final Fantasy IV blew so many minds when it came out in '91.

Final Fantasy IV is interesting in particular because it is such a step forward for the series and for the genre. The beefier hardware – and undoubtedly beefier budget – allowed Square to try out a plethora of new things with IV. The Active Time Battle system. Fights requiring more complex stratagems than “do a lot of damage to bad guy.” Perhaps most importantly, the improved graphics and sound allowed for a far more convincing execution of a story with full-fledged characters and an involved storyline than Square's first attempt in Final Fantasy II. But even though Squaresoft was interested in breaking new ground, they were also obliged to take the same approach with Final Fantasy IV as any sequel: determine what people liked in previous installments and pack the new one full of more of those things. In this case, Square gave the fans more airships, more Chocobos, more character classes, more abilities, more maps, more spells, a new set of Elemental Fiends, more Crystal MacGuffins, etc.

When I was about 25% through the game, I was talking to a friend – someone who hasn't played any Final Fantasy games predating the seventh installment – and was trying to explain to him why IV would be worth his time to check out. “It's so cool,” I told him. “You get these two little wizard kids who can team up and cast gigantic spells and you gotta climb this mountain covered with zombies so you can Class Change and there's this demon you gotta kill at the top and then he comes at you from behind, and…”

The first question he asked was “how's the story?”

Then it occurred to me that console RPG genre is sixteen years older now, and people expect totally different things from it than when it was still taking shape in the SNES/Genesis era. I realized something else, too: as groundbreaking and incredible as Final Fantasy IV was in '91, it simply wouldn't fly if it were released today in 2007.

There are a few reasons for this. The first is that people seem to pick up console RPG's primarily for their stories now; the actual gameplay seems, in many cases, to be viewed as a necessary means of forcing the story to progress. (Cases in point: Kingdom Hearts II and .hack.) In '91, the opposite was true: people bought console RPG's to fight random battles, level up, and kick the crap out of massive bosses with your hard-earned abilities and expensive equipment because it was fun, dammit. The story was garnish – something to give the level grinding and dungeon crawling the illusion of having a higher purpose. Though Final Fantasy IV had a story that was much more sophisticated than those of virtually every RPG that came before it – and definitely marked the beginning of a shift towards a greater emphasis on characters and story – it's still evident that more effort went into designing the rest of the game. (More on that later.)

Another aspect of Final Fantasy IV that wouldn't go over well with today's audience is its revolving door party roster. The last time a Final Fantasy installment killed off a character and made them permanently unusable for the remainder of the game was VII, and even then, people tirelessly scoured every nook and cranny of the Planet, convinced there had to be a way to bring Aeris back to life. All that trouble for the sake of getting to use a defunct character again, and not a very useful one at that. In Final Fantasy IV, party members are constantly blown up, turned to stone, thrown overboard during sea serpent attacks, and sacrificing their lives to cast that sealed spell that just might be powerful enough to defeat the villain once and for all (but isn't). You never have a say in who joins your party, and there's no way of stopping somebody from leaving (or getting themselves killed) when the time comes. I don't think today's audience would appreciate this sort of thing. In fact, Square Enix tweaked Final Fantasy IV Advance, making it possible to change party members towards the very end of the game.

The other thing is that Final Fantasy IV just doesn't have enough of a certain something that contemporary games are overbrimming with. That something…is zazz.

Final Fantasy IV's zazz factor is decidedly low. It has a quasi-medieval setting (devoid of steam or cyberpunk influence) populated by knights, wizards, and dwarves (no bunny-eared amazons, Geohounds, cyborgs, or evil parodies of Christ). Cecil wears a suit of armor (without even one decorative zipper, pouch, or patch of fashionably exposed skin) and fights with a sword (instead of a gunblade, keyblade, chainsaw-sword, etc). BORING.


Digression
JRPG's – and many other Japanese games, and anime too – are in serious danger of fatal zazz saturation.

Some zazz is good to have. Think of it like putting sugar in coffee. A sugar cube or two makes coffee less bitter; some zazz adds flavor to a game and its characters. But just as pouring too much sugar into a cup of coffee ruins it, over-zazzing your game makes it annoying instead of bland. Remember back when anthromorphs with ‘tude were in vogue? Sonic's ‘tude levels were within acceptable parameters, and it's still hard to deny the appeal of his Sega Genesis incarnations. But then you also have Bubsy the Bobcat, who was pumped full of more focus-group tested ‘tude than any single piece of intellectual property should ever be asked to contain, and if anyone actually remembers Bubsy, I'm sure the memories are not pleasant.

Here's an example of the progression of zazz saturation: a timeline of SNK fighting game title characters.
Terry and Ryo look like two guys out of a martial arts flick. Iori and K' look like they're from an anime. Alba and Luise look like they're from a Japanese fashion magazine. I understand that with so many other products on the market, designers have to make their franchise and its components stand out, but it's honestly starting to get ridiculous. Other examples include the gulf between the characters and aesthetics of Mobile Suit Gundam and Gundam SEED, Sonic the Hedgehog (1991) and Shadow the Hedgehog (2001), and to cite a stateside example, the differences between the 2-D Prince of Persia titles and The Two Thrones. Style over substance.

Anyway – let's talk more about Final Fantasy IV.
CHARACTERS
Final Fantasy IV boasted some of the most interesting and memorable characters of its era. That being said, most of them would be laughed off the casts of today's JRPG's.


Allies

CECIL
Dark Knight

Orphaned at a young age and raised by the king of Baron, Cecil rose through the military ranks to become captain of Baron's elite air force, the Red Wings. Though trained to wield the shadowed arms and powers of a Dark Knight, Cecil remains a man of integrity. After returning from pillaging the defenseless town of Mysidia and stealing its Crystal of Water, Cecil voices his objection to the king and is promptly dismissed from his post. His new assignment is to deliver a parcel to the village of Mist...

Why he worked in '91: Finally: an RPG where your main character starts out as a walking death machine instead of a blithering wimp with no skills or equipment.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: The Dark Knight thing is cool, but the armored look is so four generations ago. Needs more skin, straps, and tattoos. A keen fashion sense can provide just as much protection as plate mail.



CECIL
Paladin

You knew that getting to play as a Dark Knight was too good to be true. At a certain point in the adventure Cecil decides that he doesn't want to be a terrifying death machine anymore, so he undergoes the time-honored JRPG Class Change Ritual and becomes a Paladin, the reverse of a Dark Knight. The process involves climbing Mount Ordeals, wading through hordes of zombies, doing battle with his own dark side, and most importantly, adopting a flowing-haired bisho look which ensures his becoming a trillion times stronger than he was as an armored, masculine son of a bitch.

Why he worked in '91: Yeehaw! Class Change!
Why he wouldn't work in '07: It might, actually. The bish look is exactly the kind of zazzing up Cecil needed. His outfit's still a bit bland, though – attach some unnecessary zippers and some angel wings, however, and we'll be in business.



KAIN
Dragoon

Another orphan whom the King of Baron raised along with Cecil. Kain went against his adopted father's behest to train as a Dark Knight to follow in his birth father's footsteps as a Dragoon. As a result, Cecil won prestige and rank over Kain, who began harboring feelings of jealousy towards his adopted brother and best friend. It also didn't help much when Cecil bagged Rosa, with whom Kain was also secretly in love. The dark forces behind Baron's recent militarism waste no time taking advantage of Kain's latent resentment of Cecil and setting the two against each other.

Why he worked in '91: Of all Final Fantasy IV's characters, Kain probably has the most impact. You spend the entire game going back and forth between thinking he's the coolest guy ever and hating his traitorous guts.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Kain was the original JRPG Judas. Of course he'd still work today – and he does! Only now he's younger, not a Dragoon anymore, and he hangs out with Mickey Mouse.



RYDIA
Summoner

A young girl from Mist. Her life takes an abrupt turn for the tragic after Cecil and Kain accidentally murder her mother and set her town on fire, but Rydia is a real good sport about it and joins Cecil on his journey anyway. As a full-blooded Summoner, Rydia has the natural ability to communicate with supernatural beings and deities.

Why she worked in '91: So wait. An adorable little child who casts spells? Like some sort of “magical girl?” THAT'S JUST CRAZY ENOUGH TO WORK!
Why she wouldn't work in '07: She might, but you can bet her “Momo” appeal would be exploited to its fullest extent. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.





RYDIA
Summoner

Hey! Rydia's grown up now! And she's hot! Oh, and she's also pretty much the best character in the game.

Why she worked in '91: See above.
Why she wouldn't work in '07: Loli Rydia is more valuable.













ROSA
White Mage
Cecil's girlfriend. Like most JRPG squeezes, the full extent of her repertoire consists of healing, getting kidnapped, and gushing to the hero about how nothing bad can happen to her when she's with him. I'm almost positive this is what the ideal Japanese woman is supposed to be like.

Why she worked in '91: Neat! Not only do you get to play as a rad Dark Knight, but you're also nailing a cute White Mage!
Why she wouldn't work in '07: She doesn't look Japanese enough. The hero always goes with whatever chick looks the most Japanese. Also, she and Cecil are already a done deal before the game even starts, and that leaves little room for Ranma/Akane hijinks and/or overblown Heero/Relina melodrama.



TELLAH
Sage

Part revered Mysidian sage, part revenge-obsessed old coot. When his daughter Anna ran off to get hitched to Edward, she was killed in the Red Wings' attack on Damycan. Tellah is now committed to avenging her death at any cost. His major claims to fame are dishing out one of the most famous spells and one of the most famous insults in Final Fantasy history.

Why he worked in '91: Say…doesn't he look sort of like that Turtle Hermit guy from Dragon Ball?
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Turtle Hermit who? SSJ3 TURNKS 4 LIEF BABY!!!! Plus, you don't see that many old men characters in JRPG's anymore because they're not young or pretty enough.




EDWARD
Spoony Bard

The prince of Damycan, who sometimes likes to disguise himself as a wandering bard and prance through his kingdom anonymously . Edward is possibly the most maligned character in Final Fantasy, with the possible exceptions of maybe Quina and “Jar Jar” Wakka. I don't see how anybody could have thought Edward might be a hit. “Okay,” someone at Squaresoft must have said at a developers' meeting, “Final Fantasy II's weakest character was Gordon, and Final Fantasy III's most useless class was the Bard. You know what I think would be a good idea? COMBINING THEM.”

Why he worked in '91: He didn't. By the way, his Japanese name is “Gilbert,” which somehow makes him sound even more useless and wussy.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Because he sucks. Although – I could totally see a Tetsuya Nomura revamp that has Edward dressing like a Japanese glam rocker and fighting with a magical guitar, and it scares the hell out of me.



YANG
Monk

Fabul's head monk is one bad mother. One bad mother. One one bad mad mother mother mother mother. Okay, I got nothing. Yang's got the standard JRPG monk profile: polite, humble, self-sacrificing, and a hell of a hard kicker. The only person in the world stronger than him is his wife.

Why he worked in '91: He's like the Black Belt class from the original Final Fantasy, only he's not boring as hell! And he makes stuff dead fast.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Monks are so passé. Barefisted fighters nowadays either have to be hip badasses or hot chicks.






PALOM
Black Mage

The male half of Mysidia's dynamic duo. Black mage prodigy Palom is loud mouth and ill-behaved, in sharp contrast to his sibling Porom. He and his twin sister are assigned by the Mysidian elder to guide Cecil to the summit of Mount Ordeals.

Why he worked in '91: Chock full of what was then referred to as “'tude.”
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Maybe he would. The magical twins concept still pops up now and then.









POROM
White Mage

Palom's twin sister is syrupy sweet and polite all the time, except when she's yelling at and physically abusing her brother (which happens fairly frequently). Porom's special powers include white magic, pretending to cry, and the ability to synchronize her magic with Palom's to unleash large scale devastation.

Why she worked in '91: Cute as a button.
Why she wouldn't work in '07: Two magical lolis in one game? The fanboys' brains would shut down from oxygen deprivation as their entire bloodstreams flooded into their groins. Killing your customers is bad business.






CID
Engineer

A bearded fella from Baron who builds airships. He's like an uncle to Cecil and Rosa, and is very protective of the latter.

Why he worked in '91: They don't come much quirkier. Plus, you'd played Final Fantasy III, you'd recognize that he's a cross between the Scholar and Viking jobs.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Nomura would never let Cid get away with a beard like that. He'd also probably stick him in pink spandex. I hate Tetsuya Nomura.









EDGE
Ninja

Prince and heir to the throne of Eblan, a nation whose entire military force consists of ninjas. How cool is that? Eblan, however, fell rather easily to the might of Rubicante and his forces. Its people were driven into exile and its king and queen went missing. Against all warning, Edge sets out on his own to kill Rubicante and rescue his parents.

Why he worked in '91: Dual-wielding, Ninpo, throwing shurikens, stealing…Edge has abilities out the wazoo. Plus, like Palom, he's got that precious commodity of the early Nineties known as ‘tude.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Imagine: gawkily-animated Edge flailing around the screen in 3-D, complete with lousy voiceover and equally bad lip-synching. If Nomura ever decides to draw some extra zippers on his outfit, we're in trouble.


FUSOYA
Lunarian

Eons ago, a planet existed whose orbit lay between Mars's and Jupiter's. When it was somehow destroyed, its inhabitants used their advanced technology to fashion a satellite and set it into orbit around the “Blue Planet” as a second moon. These people, now called the Lunarians, sleep in stasis deep beneath the surface, awaiting a time when the people of the Blue Planet evolve to a point where communication, trade, and eventual coexistence between the two races becomes possible. FuSoYa alone has been assigned to remain awake and watch over his slumbering race.

Why he worked in '91: Sweet merciful crap will you just look at his spellbook…!
Why he wouldn't work in '07: You're no longer allowed to be an “old man” character in an RPG unless you are quirky, and FuSoYa is definitely not quirky. Also, his eyebrows are freaky.


BAD GUYS


THE ANTLION
I wonder if Edward ever gets tired of being wrong and sucking at life all the time?

Why it worked in '91: Final Fantasy IV was the first JRPG to use the ATB system, and the Antlion was the first boss to take advantage of this and go crazy with physical counterattacks.
Why it wouldn't work in '07: Oh, why not. Every RPG needs a few throwaway bosses before the ominous metrosexuals in black coats start showing up.


THE DARK ELF
Astos lives! …But he seems to have abandoned the cunning machinator shtick in favor of a role as an evil, mentally deficient goblin. He inconveniences both sides in the battle over the Crystals by snatching the Earth crystal from Tororia. Then, to make things tricky, he sets up a magnetic forcefield inside his cave that make metal weapons and equipment impossible to wield.

Why he worked in '91: Magnetic field was a damn cool idea.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: It was also damn annoying. Today's audience is more concerned with story progression than challenge and wouldn't appreciate a speed bump like this.


THE MAGUS SISTERS
Cindy, Sandy and Mindy are the faithful minions of Barbariccia the Wind Fiend. Their signature move is the infamous DELTA ATTACK, though in its first appearance here it really just consists of Mandy bouncing level two elemental spells off the Wall'd Sandy.

Why they worked in '91: What part of DELTA ATTACK aren't you understanding?
Why they wouldn't work in '07: Needs more – you guessed it – more zazz. I'm thinking, I dunno…bug costumes.


DOCTOR LUGAE
After Cid refuses to develop any more technology for him, Golbez tosses him in the dungeon and hires this nutjob to take his place. Dr. Lugae is responsible for both the modified Red Wings and the giant cannon in the Tower of Babil, but prefers working with biologics instead of hardware...

Why he worked in '91: Yeesh. This guy still creeps me out – especially after what he does to Edge's parents.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Everyone would accuse him of being a Hojo rip.


SCARMIGLION
The Four Fiends of the Elements get makeovers and new monikers from Dante's Inferno, and make their first (and only) 16-bit debut in Final Fantasy IV. Scarmiglion is Lich version 2.0: the undead fiend of Earth with vast necromantic powers and legions of shambling undead at his command. Golbez orders him to intercept Cecil on Mount Ordeals and prevent him from becoming a Paladin, knowing that Cecil's dark sword is next to useless against the undead.

Why he worked in '91: Oh my god he isn't dead and he's coming at me from behind! Thrilling! Awesome!
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Oh my god he isn't dead and he's coming at me from behind! I didn't think to save! WTF HAX


CAGNAZZO
The Fiend of Water, who I guess is supposed to be some kind of evil turtle thing. In addition to being able to summon tidal waves, he's as tenacious as Scarmiglion and knows a thing or two about disguise.

Why he worked in '91: Well, he forces Palom and Porom to off themselves to save the rest of the party. That's pretty high up there on the villainy scale.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Just look at him. Severe zazz deficiency.


BARBARICCIA
Probably better known to older fans as Valvalis. At any rate, Barbariccia of the Wind lives in the floating mechanical tower of Zot and doesn't wear a lot of clothes. Evidently, she also has a thing for Kain.

Why she worked in '91: “Must stop her spin!!” “Kain…JUMP!!”
Why she wouldn't work in '07: She might, though I suspect she'd be one of those insufferable OHOHOHOHOHO chicks.


RUBICANTE
The Fiend of Fire is the strongest of the four, and probably the coolest as well. (I will be honest: my AOL name in sixth grade was definitely RUBICANT8.) He's still on the bad guys' team, but exercises much more chivalry than his underhanded, sucker-punching cohorts. He even makes a point of healing your party before throwing down so you can fight him at your strongest.

Why he worked in '91: Was it Flame? LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE
Why he wouldn't work in '07: He might – his Cloak of Flames is already pretty zazzy. But knowing Square Enix today, they'd also make him beautiful and in love with Cecil.


GOLBEZ
It's whispered that the mysterious cloaked figure placed in command of the Red Wings after Cecil's demotion and defection is also the one really running Baron these days. (Insert Cheney joke here.) Golbez is demoniacally cunning, harder to kill than a cockroach, and commands incredible magical powers. Morever, he's got both the most powerful nation in the world and the Four Fiends of the Elements directly under his thumb. Whether or not he's even human is questionable.

Why he worked in '91: Golbez is arguably the most competent villain in the history of Final Fantasy. The guy never loses. Though he does occasionally get caught off guard when a powerful magic user shows up and blasts him without warning, Golbez always manages to turn the circumstances of his defeat into an advantage. And unlike even Kefka, the heroes never have a definitive victory over Golbez: the guy just decides to stop fighting Cecil and go after Zemus instead.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: No flowing white locks. Doesn't show enough skin.


ZEMUS
A powerful Lunarian who didn't want to wait for the inhabitants of Earth to evolve so the two races could coexist, Zemus thought it would make a lot more sense to take the colonialist approach and simply take over the planet. The rest of his race disagreed however, and forced him into stasis against his will. Over the centuries, the dreaming Zemus has telepathically manipulated events on the Blue Planet, patiently and gradually engineering a cataclysm that will eradicate all terrestrial life.

Why he worked in '91: He's such an evil bastard that even Golbez wants him dead. He must be bad.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Necron Syndrome. Not that it would stop most JRPG developers anyway, but nowadays it really should.


ZEROMUS
Death only increases Zemus's hatred towards all life. Zeromus is the product of this hatred. No, I don't get it either. Regardless, I hope you're up for some power leveling before facing this guy.

Why he worked in '91: Seeing all your teammates and friends appear to revive and cheer you on before the final showdown began was pretty awesome before a.) virtually every other JRPG afterwards started doing it b.) you had to sit through it 5,000 times because Zeromus kept Big Banging you to death.
Why he wouldn't work in '07: Phantasy Star called; it wants its critter back. Needs more angel wings, too.


TO BE A REAL PALADIN…


Forward strides in graphics and gameplay aside, Final Fantasy IV is most often lauded for upping the ante in terms of the kind of story an RPG or adventure video game is supposed to tell. Many, many fan reviews will heap more praise upon the games for its plot and characters than anything else, asserting that not only did it raise the bar but still has the best story to tell of any RPG to date. This is sort of funny because – and I say this both as someone who can't decide between Shakespeare and creative writing graduate programs in grad school and with an extant desire to get some sort of Final Fantasy tattoo – Final Fantasy IV's story is damn ridiculous.

It's true. I love Final Fantasy IV, but I can almost guarantee you the developers were making the story up as they went along. Another excerpt from a Squaresoft meeting:

DEVELOPER #1: Okay, so the bad guys just snatched all the crystals and we're about out of world map. I think it's about time for a world-shaking cataclysm followed by a climactic showdown and final boss fight, right?

DEVELOPER #2: Naw, dude. Sakaguchi says the final project's gotta be at least eight hours longer. Any ideas on how we go about doing that?

DEVELOPER #3: I got it! Why don't we just say there's four more crystals out there and they're all underground?

DEVELOPER #2: Works for me. I'll start palette swapping enemy sprites and programming them in as stronger “dark” versions of overworld monsters.

[A MONTH LATER]

DEVELOPER: So, uh…we can't think of anything else to have the player do in the underworld, we're still a few hours short, and we can't think of a way to wrap everything up. Sakaguchi-sama?

SAKAGUCHI: [looks up from sniffing glue and doodling a bedroom-eyed Rydia in his notebook] Well duh! Isn't it obvious? NOW WE GO TO THE MOON! And check it: let's also make it so the good guy and the bad guy have been long lost brothers ALL ALONG and now have to set aside their differences to battle a common foe! How's that for some riveting storytelling?

DEVELOPER: Brilliant, sir. But, uh…who's gonna be the last boss, then?

SAKAGUCHI: I don't know. Some guy living on the moon, I guess. What the hell am I paying you for? You think of something.


And even though the characters in Final Fantasy IV do and say a hell of a lot more than the casts of every 8-bit JRPG combined, they're still fairly flat. With the possible exceptions of Kain and Cecil (and the latter gets a lot less interesting after he gives up being a Dark Knight), everyone spends the game signing the same songs. It's sometimes like watching an episode of Pokemon:

ROSA: Cecil! Save me!

RYDIA: Innocence innocence innocence!

EDGE: Arrogant and boisterous! Arrogant and boisterous!

RYDIA: Innocence?

EDGE: Boisterous! Arrogant, arrogant? Boisterous!

CID: Kook! Kook kook! KOOK!

ROSA: SAAAAVE ME, CECIL!

But here's the thing: none of this matters. Final Fantasy IV's story is simple and silly, but that's not where its appeal lies. Final Fantasy IV is a great game because it gives you a five-member party, a magical spaceship, and hordes of vicious monsters, demons, and aliens to rip up ATB style. It's just fun.

There's still no denying it that opened the floodgates, though. If Final Fantasy IV wasn't the turning point itself, it was one of several 16-bit JRPG's that triggered the genre's increasing focus on storytelling. The end result of the process set in motion by Final Fantasy IV and its ilk are newer franchises like Xenosaga and .hack, in which the actual gameplay elements – battles, dungeons, stat/ability progression – are simplified and user-friendly to the extent where they sometimes feel like an afterthought. Or padding. Story and presentation get a far wider cut of the budget. (If you think I recently shelled out forty bucks for .hack//G.U. Volume 2 because I was excited about the new scythe weapon, you're crazier than I am.) I have a friend who watched all of the cutscenes from Final Fantasy XII on YouTube so she wouldn't have to put forty hours into actually playing the game. If that's not bad sign for Final Fantasy and its genre, I don't know what is. But enough for now; we'll talk more about this when we get to VIII and X. Just you wait.


CONCLUSION!
Final Fantasy IV – with its stubby characters, straightforward ability system, fairy tale setting, and admittedly dated graphics and sound – bears very little resemblance to today's JRPG's, and that really might be a good thing. It's old school enough to have that retro charm, but still far from feeling primitive and dated. I'll spare you the SQUARE HAS GONE TO THE DARK SIDE rant (for now), and just say that this is Final Fantasy the way Allah intended. It's cartoony, fast-paced, packed with monstrous bosses, and while it's got a story to tell, it's more interested in striving to be the best video game of its kind than the best interactive storybook. I want the SNES back.

VERDICT:: 4.5 out of 5 Red Wings!



That's that. Now I'm gonna play .hack//G.U. for a few hours and then sob myself to sleep.





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